… It has no power over you.

What kind of mother stops talking to her daughter? What kind of father ignores the fact his daughter was raped a year ago? What kind of family abandons their child after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder? What kind of people do that?

I have never met a more self conceited, back stabbing, no loving, selfish family like them. I am so glad we are not blood related. I was raped a year ago by a sick man. My foster family stopped talking to me in May of 2014. I kept sending my foster dad messages on Facebook. He would leave them as “read”. Though, he never would respond. When I was raped and the police were doing their investigation; I sent my foster dad a message on facebook, telling him what had happened. I thought, maybe just maybe he would answer. Yet he just let it on read. I was so heartbroken. I cried so hard. I literally had so much hope that he’d answer. What father ignores that his daughter was raped? If my child ever was raped or beaten or in a bad situation. I would do everything in my effort to comfort my child, be there for my child, get help for my child. Not ignore them.

Brannen, my brother, my sister, my best friends, and my new mom helped me through the tough time. They comforted me and my mom bought us groceries too. They made me feel safe. I was just so scared. The first few weeks, if Brannen was working late, I either stayed with my mom or a friend would stay with me until Brannen got home. They made sure I remained safe. I didn’t go out for the longest. I wouldn’t leave my apartment for weeks. I had many panic attacks and I just was surrounded by so much fear.

What was so messed up is that. Even after my foster dad had seen the facebook message. When my birthday came in September (The rape was in August.), my foster family sent a birthday card. For the last 3 years, they have sent a birthday card, telling me they love me uncoditioinally and are always thinking about me. That is some bullshit. If you were always thinking of me, you’d pick up the damn phone and call me back after having probably more than 100 of missed calls from me. How about answer all the texts, emails, or letters I sent. If you loved me unconditionally, you wouldn’t have kicked me out without warning after being in a treatment center for suicidal tendencies and having a mental disorder. You gave up on me.

I thought I was righting my wrongs and getting better for the future and for a family who I thought loved me. Yet in reality. I got better for me. I got better for Brannen. I got better for my best friends. I got better for my closest friends. I got better for everyone who truly cared about me and loved me. I got better because I had a chance. God gave me a chance. He was truly trying to open my eyes. I am here. I am alive. I am a living testimony for others. I have so much detail to my life story. I could even write a book series. I want to inspire others not to give up and that they aren’t alone.

I have people tell me, “I can’t fathom what you’ve been through, but I know you are one hell of a strong woman.” I have had people tell me, “I can’t understand why a foster family would adopt a child out of country, then just abandon them after raising them. Like their job was done being a parent.” People tell me, “That is some sad shit and I don’t know how you still smile each day.”

I will tell you something. I smile because I am blessed. I smile because even with that rough past. I am still here and shinnning like no one ever dimmed my light. I will not give up. I will only speak truth. I will keep inspiring others and trying to help others cope with their problems.

I am so blessed to have my new family, my boyfriend, my best friends, and all my friends who truly care and love me for me!! God is great! Everything that was negative, turned into a positive, slowly but surely it did. I am thankful!

“Once you realize your past is just a story, it has no power over you.” ~ Unknown

Xo, Sai (:

 

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… It has no power over you.

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