I don’t know what to write about today. That’s a first.
I don’t know what to write about today. That’s a first.
Your words. Your tone. Your actions.
All 3 effect everything and everyone around you. Be self aware of your own words, tones, & actions.
I have many pet peeves. I am about to share a few with you all.
1.) Don't lie to me. That will always be my number one pet peeve. Why it is a pet peeve is because it is very annoying to me. Why do you need to lie to me? That is the main reason to ever get me upset or mad at you.
2.) When someone tells you they have something to tell you and then they back off and say never mind. Why do that? You just got me all excited for nothing. Like when someone gets your hopes up and then crushes them by doing something stupid.
3.) People who act different around each person they are with. They act different around certain people so they can be liked. Why change yourself for others. If they don't like you for you. Then fuck them. Find people who genuinely like you for you. Not ones you have to change yourself for.
4.) People who cry to get their way. Tears do have affect people. Though others know when you're just sitting their bullshitting them.
5.) Talking shit behind my back. Why talk shit behind someone back? If you have the courage to say it behind someone's back, then you should have the courage to say it to their face. Don't bad mouth people if you can't tell them straight to their face what problems you have with them.
Not sure why people judge when they don’t even check themselves first.
Not sure why people blame others for their unsuccessful lives.
Not sure why people think violence is the way to make the world peaceful.
Not sure why people can’t understand mental illness.
Not sure why people make memes out of everything.
Not sure why people can’t accept the truth.
Not sure why sex is more important to teenagers than good grades and pleasing their parents.
Not sure why equality isn’t an option because everyone still sees skin color as a major difference.
Not sure why we can’t all just be mature.
Not sure why I can’t fathom all of this.
Not sure why I am unsure.
Pondering at 3:19 am.
Have you ever missed someone, without even meeting them? I do. I miss my mother, even though I have never met her. I have been depressed lately. I am not sure if it was triggered by the fact that mother’s day is indeed tomorrow.
Last night, B and I bought his mom mother’s gifts. As I was grabbing some items, my friend asked me what I was getting my mother, since she saw me buying things for B’s mom. My friend wasn’t aware of my situation yet. She though I could ship the gifts to India. She had no clue I haven’t my mother.
Is it weird for me to say I love my mother? I think the world of her. I dream of her and the beauty she holds. I pray one day, I meet her. I feel a spark in my heart that one day I could be standing side by side with my mother. I could somehow stumble upon her. The world is so small. Fate has a way. God has a plan.
I am sad. An orphan I was born. An orphan I became again. Though, I have a mother. I have a father. I will dream until my wish comes true. That is my biggest wish of all. That is my dream. Most people dream and wish to be married or to have a fairy tale life. Others wish to have a roof over their head and food on the table. I wish to meet my mother. We all have wishes and dreams.
What is yours?
Many people ask me how I found such a great guy. Well B and I’s relationship started all the way back in high school. We actually started as friends, then had a brother and sister relationship, then we became best friends, then lovers. It is kind of cute.
Many of my friends get in bad relationships. These are the types of guys they somehow date: Fuck boys, controlling guys, abusive guys, guys that use you for one thing whether it be sex or just to say they have a girlfriend but don’t really want to pursue a deep and long lasting relationship with you, or guys who are possessive of their girl.
The thing is everyone one of these girls have gone for the “hottest”, good looking, best body, cute type of guy. I have said since day one. Looks don’t mean shit. You’ve got to understand that. I would rather have a guy who isn’t the hottest, yet treats me like a queen. People sometimes ask how I got with Brannen or they say Brannen is one lucky guy to have me by his side. (As in I’m the gorgeous one and I could of done better with a guy’s looks.) Excuse me while I count my blessings. Brannen is a very handsome man. He is a Marine on top of that. That is effing sexy and really awesome! He has great morals and respects me. He isn’t possessive over me and never has been controlling. He doesn’t treat me like an object either. He is loyal and wants to marry me one day. I would rather have him, than any guy I ever laid eyes on before I got with Brannen. If I look back on all the guys I had crushes on or dated. None compare to Brannen. They are an “F” and Brannen is an “A+++++”. Oh and one more thing. His mother raised him right! I am grateful for that!
These girls only want good looking guys. Not every good looking guy is respectful. Some of them are very rude and only want sex. I think sometimes you should try a different type. To be honest. I dated a lot of fuck boy kind of guys. They treated me like crap!
I am so blessed I met Brannen. Actually, B was a skinny guy when I first met him. He looked like a complete nerd on top of that. Now he is muscular and cute as eff! I wouldn’t trade him for the world. His characteristics are what many girls want in a guy. I am blessed and I thank God every day for this man. Brannen is the best thing that has ever happened. He is the love of my life. I wouldn’t want it any other way!
Peace. Love. Sai (:
One thing you have to learn is that you can’t run away from the consequences from your own actions. If you steal, eventually you will get caught. If you lie, each lie will eventually catch up to you. If you bully someone, you will eventually get in trouble for it. Each action you make will eventually catch up to you whether it is a good or bad consequence.
Sometimes people say your past will catch up to you or that it will haunt you. I am not really sure about that, like if it’s compleletly true. I can just say from experience, you are in control of your future. Each choice you make, there is an aftermath. Each choice has a good or bad aftermath. That’s what I learned.
It’s kind of like Karma. Karma comes as good and bad. What you put out in the world, is what will come back to you. What goes around comes back around. Always remember that. Like if you gave a homeless person a meal from McDonald’s, some clothes, and some blankets. You have given out kindness to the world. One day you an act of kindness will come your way. That’s just how I feel.
Have a great day,
Xo, Sai (: