Just Stop

Stop letting other people’s opinions get the best of you. Stop letting those little lies fill up in your head. Your haters who want to see you miserable. They want to see you unhappy because they are unhappy. They want to pull you into their gloomy and depressed world. Don’t let them. Stop letting people get inside your head. You are worth more than those degrading thoughts and little pieces of negative doubt. You are worth more than the stars in the sky. You have more potential than you see in yourself. You don’t see it, because you’re blinded by all the haters. Their voices and words have more volume than your own confidence and thoughts. Stop it. Change it. It should be, your confidence and thoughts have more volumes than the haters voices and words. You got this. Stop letting others run over you. Stand strong and courageous. Be brave and confident. You got this, even if you don’t believe you do. 

I love you all. Stay motivated and positive. 

Peace. Love. Sai. (:

Just Stop

My Besties

“A close friend is like a rainbow, when the perfect amount of happiness and tears are mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between 2 hearts.” ~ Annoymous

My first best friend in my life was my cat I had growing up. Sometimes animals give a great connection with their owner, only some can really understand. He was my everything. I had him since 1st grade. He’s an old cat now. (He’s with my ex-foster family still.) I pray he is happy and loved. I miss him very much, probably he misses me too. Though today, I am going to talk about my 4 best friends who are humans lol.

Brannen: My #1 best friend of all time is my fiance, Brannen. I met him in 9th grade of high school. He gave me hope of better days. He was there for through the ups and downs of my life. He never gave up on me no matter how dark of the times he went through with me. He makes me feel the safest out of everyone I know. He has never hurt me and he taught me that the truth sets you free. Never lie, be blunt. That is where I get my bluntness from. A lot of people say I am blunt. B taught me never to beat around the bush, hence why I get fustrated when others do it. B saved me from suicide in 9th grade and in freshmen year of college. He was the main reason I got clean and got the helped I needed. I am forever thankful for him. I was the one who met him. I went up to him in gym class. A few different types of gyms classes all met in the big gymnasium sometimes. I went up to him and of course was hyper and excited. I said “hiii!”, and from that moment on we became closer than ever each day that passed. He said the day he met me, was the day he said to himself, “One day I will marry this girl.” Brannen is a very wise guy. He is a christian and has very good morals. He is a US Marine now. Which I adore Marines the most out of all branches of the military!! Ever since I was little, I have had so much respect for them! Ooh Rah!!! Well, I have bragged enough about B. Now onto the next one.

Lizzie: Elizabeth and I met in 5th grade of middle school when I just moved to Georgia. She and I have been close ever since!! We would always be goofy in school and sometimes get into trouble. Though, she kept me positive and happy. She a person I cherish very dear to heart. Our friendship is rare. Why I say that is because, we rarely fight. We really don’t disagree on much. She is my kind of crazy though. Just upset us enough and it’s over. When 2 best friends come together on the same problem.. you might want to apologize before we get heated. Haha. Though, on the other hand, she is a wise person as well. She has such a kind heart and a great personality. I am so thankful for her. I miss her so much. I can’t wait to reunite with her soon enough. Good thing for technology; Facetime, Facebook, Snapchat, etc.
Lauren: Lauren and I met in 6th grade of middle school. I switched schools. She became one of my first friends at the new school. We clicked right away. She is literally my partner in crime. We would always get in trouble in class. They’d purposely not put us in the same groups because once we are together you will never know what can happen. She and I have a special kind of friendship. We can go weeks, even months without talking and just pick up right where we left off!! If you have ever seen Gossip Girl; I am the Serena to her Blaire. We have fought a few times, though at the end of the day, we love each other. I can’t see living a life without her in it. She is a character; very silly. Her imagination is wild, which makes her unique. She understands me too. That’s my goofball. I love and miss her more than words can explain. I can’t wait to reunite with her as well!! We keep up with each other on Facetime, Facebook, etc. Thank goodness!!!
Trejon: Trejon and I met in freshman year of college. He and I became so close within days. He is a very wise owl. He has taught me so much, including self respect and self love. He never gave up on me. When he met me, I was right at the cusp of hitting rock bottom with the suicidal stuff. Though, he kept me afloat even when I was falling hard. Our friendship and bond  never grew grey, it has always been colorful.  He has had my back since day 1.  He showed me what a true friend is. He is like a counselor to me as well. Always gives great advice and has great meaning and positive influence behind it. I will always look up to him. He is my inspiration to do great in life!! I can’t wait for him to B and I soon!!

Friendship is built upon trust, communication, loyalty, respect, commitment, and patience. All of my best friends share that with me. I am forever grateful for them. I am truly blessed.
“Friends are kisses blown to us by Angels.” ~ Anonymous

Xo, Sai

My Besties

My Life Story: Pt 5

Recent updates to my life story are these (2017):

My foster mom won’t let my foster dad talk to me or it will cost him their marriage. The foster brother who raped me is becoming a transgender. My foster family has not talked to me or associated with me since May 2014.

On top of all of that. I was raped recently last year by a sick man. He strangled me; I had bruises on my neck, with other details I do not want to speak of. I have been very traumatically triggered by it. (I did tell me foster dad, thinking he’d respond… though he did not do anything or talk to me about it. That was the last straw & knowing that they don’t care about me or love me anymore.) It has definitely been hard for B and I. Though, B has been so great with me. He has gotten me the help I need to heal from such a traumatic situation.

I have a new family. My brother Samps & my sister Rai. I have a new mother figure in my life too. Her name is Amy or as I call her my mama. She helped B & I through a lot and has blessed us with new stuff for our apartment. She is an angel to our family.

Also, I am praying God will open the door to hopefully finding my birth mom one day. I know think of her as a beautiful woman. I am here because she gave birth to me. Yes, she gave me up, though she did it for a good purpose. I have a lot more freedom here in the USA than I would in India. I know she didn’t have the money at the time to support me. I know she loved me enough to give me up. She had enough Faith in God, that I would be okay, & stay strong & safe under God’s protection. I am still here & staying strong for myself, God, & for my birth mom. If I am a beautiful person with a good heart; then I am pretty sure I got it from my birth mom.

Thank you for reading my story. I have already inspired many people. I hope to inspire you all too!! These are all true points in my life. I continue to share it with others who struggle, especially the adolescents. A lot of people tell me, many would not have made it to where I am in life. They tell me, a lot would give up or kill themselves. I am so thankful God gave me a chance to choose life & continue on my walk with the Lord.

I am so grateful for all who stuck by me through the darkest of times to the brightest of times. I am so thankful for my best friends, Lizzie, Trejon, & Lauren. Of course I am very thankful for Brannen. He is such a gentleman to me & takes care of me each & every day. His love for me has never lessened. He is my best friend & soul mate. I love him so much! I am thankful for my brother Samps, & my sisters Rai & Chiyan. They are my high spirits & reminders that I can get through this. Just take it day by day. I love my cat Shadow. He is such a goof ball & he gives me a reason to smile even when I do not want to. He cuddles with me & gives me kitty kisses with his wet nose. He can be annoying at times, though he is definitely a good cat. I thank my closest friends for also being there for me. They never judged me, yet cared even more about me than I could even imagine they would. I am thankful God is with me always & keeps good people around me to lift me up when I fall down.

I love you all so much. I appreciate the love, care, & support from all my fans on my blog, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, & Facebook. You all give me hope & a reason to keep pushing & getting up each day. Everything will be alright in the end. I want to write a book on my life story. I already have a title for it. I guess I will be patient & see how successful I can become & inspire more & more each day.

P.S. ~ As my motto goes: Spreading Positivity Like PB & J.

Much Love To You All,

Peace. Love. Sai 🙂

My Life Story: Pt 5

Why Judge?

Why do people judge? I will never understand. We are all the same on the inside. So why judge the cover when technically we are all of the same makeup. God made us unique. Each and everyone of us is different, though we all are the same internally. I won’t lie. I was very judgmental at a younger age in life. Though, as an adult. I have been through life changing experiences that opened my eyes. I never judged after that. I understood that truly sometimes someone sitting 5 seats down from you, can be going through the exact same thing as you. We can connect on a deeper level. You have to give people a chance. You never know what people are going through. You can either be the “last straw” that breaks them down or you can be the “helping hand” to lift them up. You decide. Be kind, be grateful, be humble, be patient, be loving in all you do. Stop the hate, bullying, gossip, & rumors. You want us to have a peaceful world, yet people left & right aren’t doing anything to help it be a better place over all. I have every right to state an opinion to explain my point. So let me give an example. The “cash me outside how bout that” girl is famous for a less important moment. Why is that more important than world peace or even motivation. They make memes off this girl. Why can’t people make memes off of happy things? Positive things. When ever I see memes, it is usually based off of something someone did that was immature, silly, or just plain stupid. I know there’s lots of different memes. It’s just different how I see it. (Don’t get me wrong. I have a good sense of humor. I’m just deep in thought. Lol.) People don’t talk about positive things these days. They are dull, negative, bad vibes. The United States of America is now looking like The United States of Anxiety.. All because of the new president Donald Trump. My hubby & I now have a reason to not miss out on the news each day. It’s sad. It’s just sad. This world is becoming unkempt. I’m sad for this world. 

Peace. Love. Sai (:

Why Judge?

Where are you mama?

Mama. Where are you? I have longed to one day meet you. I was sent to America not even remembering what you looked like because I was a baby. Do I look like you? Do I act like you? Questions I ask myself. I know you gave me up for a good reason. Though, not knowing who your birthmom is, well it’s an empty hole in my life; in my heart. I feel empty. You thought you gave me up to a great foster family, yet they abandoned me after raising me for almost 18 years. They abused me, raped me, hurt me, broke me, abandoned me. Though, I am safer now mama. I have a new family who loves me unconditionally, which I thank God everyday for! I just feel sad. I really want to know you. I want to hug you. Show you how strong of a daughter you have. How beautiful of a daughter you have. How people are inspired by your daughter. I wish you could see me now mama. You would be proud. You would be proud. I love you mama. I will always be thankful for you. I technically wouldn’t be here if you didn’t birth me. So thank you mama. One day I will go back to India to find you. I hope I meet you mama. I love you.

Your daughter, 

Sai Chandrika 💜

Where are you mama?