Hey everyone!!! I have been on a break from my blog, due to working again. I have been working 2 weeks now at my new job!! I love it so much!! I am happy with the job! My manager is so amazing and the work is light. My customers love me. They give positive feedback to my boss. I even got my first gold star sticker for my name tag!! I am the first to ever get one in my department! I am so excited and feel honored!!
I actually will be able to make posts on here even when I am at work, if I want to. I am allowed to watch Netflix, text, video chat, even draw or color. It is an easy job. There are maybe 7 to 10 tasks that are important throughout the whole 8 hour shift. It isn’t that hard. I have a lot of down time, which is why my manager just says do what you like as long as you do the tasks that need to be done. He says I am doing great there!!
I do get kind of annoyed. Many customers the guys mostly try to hit on me. It irritates me how they can be very disrespectful. I just say I am married at this point. Saying I am engaged, makes them still try to flirt with me. Though if I say I am married, they die down on the flirting.
Other than that, It is amazing at work!! My manager said be thankful you are blessed with good looks, because if you weren’t, you could get the opposite of the nice comments. Like customers hating and saying crude things about your looks or weight, etc. So I guess that is a positive out look on it.
Thank you to all the people who like my posts and read them daily.
I feel bad. I have OCD sometimes when I am stressed. I do read your blogs and daily entries. I sometimes have a hard time liking them. It has to be a pattern. Like and then unlike until it’s even. So if I ever like your posts, know I felt accomplished. I have bad OCD when liking things, even on instagram. I try my best to share the love back. Do know I try. If you do get a star, know I was really happy I could!! I enjoy all the people I follow. You all have great writings and great entries!! You all are very inspiring and awesome!! I love you all!!
Shoutout to my top 5 followers out of my 39 followers:
Bebe, Little Fears, MakeItUltra, BeautyBeyondBones, & Filipemoleiro.
Ya’ll show the most love!! I hope others will follow you all!! You have amazing blogs that are very inspiring!!
Have a great day!
Xo, Sai (:
Everyone who knows me , knows my favorite show of all time is GOSSIP GIRL!!!! My favorite couple on that show is Chuck & Blaire. I’m such a fan of that show that I’ve watched all 6 seasons 7 times in counting!! Ughhhh! Y’all have no idea how much I love that show! I can never get tired of it! As a matter of fact, I’m actually watching it right now. I’ve made B watch the show with me because ironically, none of my friends have seen the show, yet they remind me of many of the characters… Kinda funny huh. “You know you love me Xoxo, Gossip Girl.”
Xo, Sai (:
B bought a new laptop. It is so amazing! I love it! Both of our old laptops were broken. So a fresh and new laptop was needed. I am truly grateful for him and the new tech!! I just downloaded the WordPress app to my computer. I love it. It runs smoothly!
Xo, Sai (:
Sometimes I feel I not good enough. The fact is I have a mental illness. The fact is I was raped. The fact is I was adopted then abandoned. The fact is I was abused. The fact is I was sucidial. The fact is I feel like damaged goods.
Though among all of those facts, I am still loved by God. Though among all of those facts, I am still loved by Brannen. Though among all of those facts, I am still loved by my friends. Though among all of those facts, my cat still loves me.
So, why feel such a way, when everyone around me see me no different even with all that baggage and burdens? I should be thankful and honored. Some people would give up on a person like me. Some don’t understand mental illnesses, rape or abuse, etc. So to have people who care and won’t let me hit rock bottom again. I am forever thankful. I don’t know what I did to deserve so many good people in my life.
Another thing is. Well, I’m exhausted. I remain strong for everyone, including myself. Though what’s damaging is that I put so much effort and time into others. One thing most people will say about me is: Sai is kind, smart, sweet, funny, strong and a great friend. I never give up on my friends. I am the one who is always there for others even when I’m practically doing 5 things at once. I show people I care. I just wish people would return the favor. Maybe that’s why they say I have so much strength. Maybe..
Mama. Where are you? I have longed to one day meet you. I was sent to America not even remembering what you looked like because I was a baby. Do I look like you? Do I act like you? Questions I ask myself. I know you gave me up for a good reason. Though, not knowing who your birthmom is, well it’s an empty hole in my life; in my heart. I feel empty. You thought you gave me up to a great foster family, yet they abandoned me after raising me for almost 18 years. They abused me, raped me, hurt me, broke me, abandoned me. Though, I am safer now mama. I have a new family who loves me unconditionally, which I thank God everyday for! I just feel sad. I really want to know you. I want to hug you. Show you how strong of a daughter you have. How beautiful of a daughter you have. How people are inspired by your daughter. I wish you could see me now mama. You would be proud. You would be proud. I love you mama. I will always be thankful for you. I technically wouldn’t be here if you didn’t birth me. So thank you mama. One day I will go back to India to find you. I hope I meet you mama. I love you.
Sai Chandrika 💜