It all started when …

Reflecting back on my life. There's a lot of good memories. One memory that makes me smile every time I think about it, is when I met the love of my life 7 years ago.

It all started when …

I actually got to get some rest, because I've got a 40.25 hour work week ahead. I'm already tired. So, I will pick up where I left off sooner than later!

Xo, Sai

It all started when …

Not sure why

Not sure why people judge when they don’t even check themselves first.

Not sure why people blame others for their unsuccessful lives. 

Not sure why people think violence is the way to make the world peaceful. 

Not sure why people can’t understand mental illness. 

Not sure why people make memes out of everything. 

Not sure why people can’t accept the truth. 

Not sure why sex is more important to teenagers than good grades and pleasing their parents. 

Not sure why equality isn’t an option because everyone still sees skin color as a major difference. 

Not sure why we can’t all just be mature. 

Not sure why I can’t fathom all of this. 

Not sure why I am unsure. 
Pondering at 3:19 am.

Sai 

Not sure why

Just Stop

Stop letting other people’s opinions get the best of you. Stop letting those little lies fill up in your head. Your haters who want to see you miserable. They want to see you unhappy because they are unhappy. They want to pull you into their gloomy and depressed world. Don’t let them. Stop letting people get inside your head. You are worth more than those degrading thoughts and little pieces of negative doubt. You are worth more than the stars in the sky. You have more potential than you see in yourself. You don’t see it, because you’re blinded by all the haters. Their voices and words have more volume than your own confidence and thoughts. Stop it. Change it. It should be, your confidence and thoughts have more volumes than the haters voices and words. You got this. Stop letting others run over you. Stand strong and courageous. Be brave and confident. You got this, even if you don’t believe you do. 

I love you all. Stay motivated and positive. 

Peace. Love. Sai. (:

Just Stop

What You think and What You know

What you think: 

You all see her as a beautiful girl with a stunning smile. Her hair so silky and long. They see such intelligence and braveness in her. They see strength and wisdom. They see such a positive, uplifting energy beaming from her soul.

What you don’t know:

There is pain flowing through her veins, tears filling up in her eye sockets, exhausting depression where her body feels so weak, and longing for something she has no idea is even in arms reach.

She hides her pain with her stunning, contagious smile. Her beauty glows. No one ever knows when she’s sad or in pain. She holds her head high and seems to hide her pain well.

 What you think and what you know are two different things. Remember that. 

Xo, Sai ❤

What You think and What You know

Social media??

I usually am active on social media. Though, recently I haven’t been. I haven’t used instagram, snapchat, or facebook in the last 2 months. Only 5 people have really checked on me. Shows who really cares & worries if I’m okay. Social media is shit. Like people have my number yet still try to message me on everything else but my number. I only give my number out to certain people or friends. If you have my number. That means I think of you as a friend or someone I care about. If I am not answering my messages on social media, why do you keep messaging me on there? Especially if you have my personal number or even my email?? Just sad. Social media has taken over so much, that even one of my friends won’t answer their texts but will respond quicker through a social media app. I’m so frustrated. Like why have an active phone if you don’t use your texts or calls. That’s a waste of money in my opinion. Sometimes I wish this was the old days. Where technology hadn’t been as advanced. Where social media was not the shit. People read their feed more than they do the Bible. People use social media to stir up drama. People are so consumed in social media that it can be so suffocating. Take a break people. Social media isn’t everything. If I can live two months without it and my hubby can live 5 years without it. Then it’s good. Life is way more peaceful. I may only keep instagram. Instagram is the only social site I think is positive and I inspire most on there.   

Social media??

Choked

B just saved me!! I was choking on popcorn!! It went down the wrong tube! Thankfully B came into the bedroom and helped me stop choking. I was so scared. I grabbed his shirt because I could barely breathe. He always makes me feel safer especially if I hold his hand or when scrunch his shirt with my hand. I don’t think I’ve ever choked that bad before. If I have, it’s been too long to remember such a feeling. 

Xo, Sai 

Choked